By Fortune Neluswi
EARTH’S FIRST MARRIAGE OFFICER
Marriage was the first and only institution between a man and a woman that was established by God before sin entered the world. God Himself was the first marriage officer ever to officiate a wedding. Marriage is sacred. It was only at a God appointed time that Adam was put into a deep sleep before the first marriage took place in Eden. The Bible clearly teaches that all things (including marriage) happen for the glory of God at an appointed time (Ecclesiastes 3:1). Marriage is not a right, it’s a God granted privilege. It is by the will of God, at His time. Perceptions on who should be married at what stage in life is tantamount to reinstating God’s omnipotence
MARRIAGE AND CURSES
There is an absurd belief about marriage that is circulating the world today. Someone, somewhere has wrongfully convinced the masses that being unmarried is a curse. A declaration that the unmarried are cursed is an intemperate statement. Taking into consideration that people are born unmarried, it is absolutely illogical to say being unmarried is a curse. If being unmarried is a curse, does it mean people live under a curse and will continue to be under the curse until they marry? If not, then at what stage does this so called marriage curse start being defined in a person’s life? Who decides at what age in a person’s life this so called curse is to be “activated”? Something doesn’t add up here. Hence, the assertion that if you are not married means you are cursed is not only an extremely inordinate remark but it is also utterly illogical!
Besides, the declaration that unmarried people are cursed is also contradictory to sound Bible doctrine. The apostle Paul was not married (1Corinthians 7:8); does it mean that he was cursed? Adam lived in the garden for some time until he was put into a deep sleep; does it mean that he was cursed before Eve was created? Jesus, himself did not marry, does this mean that He was cursed? You see, some heretical teachings circulating the world today are just nonsensical. We are living in the last days where people have “changed the truth of God into a lie…” (Rom 1:25).
Simple Bible teaching shows us that people may marry or remain single, either by choice or by the will of God; of which neither is a curse! Religious lingo without rightly dividing the Word of truth makes people dabble in heresy. If you delay your marriage either by choice or circumstance, it is NOT a curse! Again, if you choose to get married or remain unmarried, there is nothing wrong with that.
CHARISMATICS AND CURSES
The radical charismatic preachers of today have a creepy way of calling everything a curse. According to charismatic heretics of the devilish prosperity gospel, if you are not wealthy you are cursed. If you don’t drive a porshy car, you’re cursed. If you do not live in a mansion, you are cursed. If you do not have a fat salary cheque you are cursed. If you do not eat luxury meals you are cursed, you are cursed! Basically, if you follow their logic, you will realise that, if you do not align to any of their worldly lusts that tickles their minds it means you are cursed! Folks, this is not right! People are perishing and going to hell while some people play games with unwarranted claims of curses. Instead of teaching people how to be saved, thugs in the house of God are robbing people of their hard earned cash by propagating the heretical prosperity gospel. Marriage is not a jolly ride that one goes into just because of fear of being said they are cursed for being single. This is one of the major foolish reasons why people continue to have a distorted understanding about marriage. As a result, people start their marriages on the wrong footing.
COMMITMENT OR LUST FOR WEALTH
I once heard a young lady say that she will never marry someone who is not wealthy. Her reason was that love does not put food on the table. Her formula was money (wealth) first then everything (love) afterwards. She religiously believed that money can buy her the love later in the marriage. Unfortunately, she was ignorant of the fact that true love does not come with a price tag. The honest truth is that money can never buy love. Sadly, to this young lady money was everything. She prioritised gold and silver and adored wealth. When you place money first and make it the highest priority in your life, it means you are dire need of serious help because “the love of money is the root of all evil” (1 Timothy 6:10). You see, when you love something you will always let it come first and be central in your life (Mathew 6:24). Looking to money as the foundation of your marriage is a huge mistake you do not want to make. In contrast, the Bible tells us to seek the things of God first (Matthew 6:33)! When choosing a partner, the Bible teaches that we should focus our attention based on character and right morals (Genesis 24:4, Proverbs 31:10, 1 Peter 3:3-5).
I know of a number of wealthy couples who don’t share the bedroom; reason, the love is gone: Strange enough, the money is still in abundance yet there is no peace in the house. “There is no peace, saith the LORD, unto the wicked.” Isaiah 48:22. Where there is no God, there is no peace, no matter how fat your bank balance is. If your partner does not fear God, you will have the Devil as your father in law! You can argue and do all the reasoning you want to defend yourself, but God’s word shall always be true (“… let God be true, but every man a liar…” (Romans 3:4). It’s certainly not wise to put your eggs in a bottomless basket. The Word of God always warns us against making money a priority in one’s life decisions because…
MARRIAGE CHALLENGES
Marriages have many complexities which both partners need to learn to deal with in order for a marriage to work. There is NO perfect marriage on planet earth (1 Corinthians 7:10-11, Jeremiah 3:8, Proverbs 21:19). Marriage is not a dance on a circus merry go round – it comes with lots of responsibilities: dealing with In-laws, debts, partner’s mood swings, kids, illnesses, family squabbles, etc, is just but the least you can expect in marriage life. It’s not easy. ALL marriages have problems. Whether you are poor or rich, saved or un-saved you WILL face situations in your marriage where you and your partner have to make serious decisions to make the marriage move on or not. It’s life; it’s the reality of marriage. People get glued to the fantasy life depicted in Hollywood movies and think that marriage will be the Cinderella story. Sadly, that is far from the truth. One does not just wake up the following morning and hop into matrimony and expect everything to be the strawberry and vanilla ice cream lifestyle.
Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong marrying or getting married to a wealthy person. You will NOT perish in Hades just because your husband/ wife is rich! Again, it is perfectly acceptable before God to marry a person without earthly wealth. The most important thing is that you both commit to making the marriage work with the least possible hindrances. Truthfully, most marriage problems (infidelity, dishonesty, adultery, hatred, disrespect, disregard, bossiness, rudeness, quarrels, stubbornness, anger, cold heartedness, etc.) can NEVER be solved by money because they are rooted on the human heart which the bible describes as being, “…deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked…” (Jeremiah 17:9). But I can assure you on this one thing, if you want to be happy, choose a man or woman who fears the Lord and is truly born again. Like any marriage, it may not be always cosy in the house, but it will surely be different than when you marry someone who has no regard for God’ Law. That’s good advice! If you don’t believe me read Deuteronomy 28:15-68 for yourself.
HUSBANDS, LOVE YOUR WIVES
Husbands, did you know that if you don’t treat your wife like a queen that she deserves to be, God will not answer your prayers even if you cry ten litres of tears!
“Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.”
(1 Peter3:7)
The married life is far from what is depicted on T.V. The fantasies of television are not accommodated in real life. The most important thing is how you deal with the challenges that you meet in your marriage. The wife must honour her husband; the husband must honour and love his wife. Period. (1 Peter 3:7). “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;” (Ephesians 5:25). Men, pay attention to those words, “…even as Christ also loved the Church…” Let’s look at the definition of Christ’s love for the church:
WIVES, SUBMIT TO YOUR HUSBANDS
“Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.” For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
(Ephesians 5:22 – 24 ).
A woman cannot say that she honours God if she does not respect her husband. The Bible teaches that it is impossible for a woman to claim that she loves God with a pure heart if she does not submit herself to her husband. Well, certainly she can make the claim but her assertions will be invalid. There are women today who come to the house of God with the belief that they can serve God fully even if they do not give their husbands the due respect and honour. A woman ought to honour her husband and she is not to raise her voice against her husband, go against his word, push him around, belittle him in public, treat him like a little kid, speak badly about him to her relatives, etc. It is wrong for a woman to think that she has the same authority as the man in the house. In God’s plan of marriage, there is no 50/50! God gave man the authority over the woman and the woman is to submit to her own husband. God created marriage it should be done His way!
FINALLY…
Remember, marriage is for life (Genesis 2:24) and divorce is a sin (Mathew 19:6)! Divorce means breaking an oath you have made to God (Ecclesiastes 5:4). When you marry, you not only make those vows before man but also before a Holy God, the creator of the heavens and Earth. If efforts to reconcile a marriage utterly fail, people are permitted to separate (NOT divorce) but the condition is that none of the two can re-marry as long as the other partner still lives. For instance, in cases of abuse, a partner can choose to depart. A person who is in an abusive relationship has a right to leave. There’s no question about that. 1st Corinthians 7:17 states:
“And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.”
So, Biblically, if a wife departs (NOT divorce), she is to REMAIN UNMARRIED. Matthew 5:32 teaches that it is adultery for a person to remarry while his/ her partner still lives. God takes marriage very serious and so should mankind. It is not something to play poker about. So please do not take marriage lightly and make a joke about it.
Speaking the truth in Christ,
Fortune Neluswi.
“…if thou wilt not hearken unto the voice of the LORD thy God…thou shalt betroth a wife, and another man shall lie with her…” (Deuteronomy 28:15, 30)